Magical Mischief
by soccerchic91588
Summary: So I was sitting there, just minding my own business by bothering Thomas Edison (my teacher), when Christina suddenly runs in and drags me out of class. Then she drags me out to a ball fiel and takes me to the world of Yu-Gi-Oh.. Talk about your chaos..
1. Chapter One

Okay, hello everyone, I know it's been a while since I've written anything.. Okay, so, this is actually the first story I'm writing that's not "you fiction" or "second persons point of view" so, if it sucks, I'm sorry. Okay, one more thing, I just want you all to know, that I DO still write you fiction, and if you want to know the website address, just ask for it.. Meh, I'll give it now... youfiction . proboards30 . com Without the spaces. OH, and I also write at e-fiction . org without the spaces, and currently, their site is down, so I wouldn't suggest going there right now... ANYWHO! Please review, and I have one request.

Request: If you're going to flame, please give a reason. I accept flames and constructive criticism, as long as it's not just some stupid thing, so yeah..

Lawyers: clear throats

Me: looks up OO YOU'LL NEVER CATCH MEEEEEE! starts running

Marik: Wouldn't it be easier if you just went WITH them?

Me: oO

Seto: You moron! If she does that, then she'll be in TROUBLE! All she has to do is say the magic words.. Why am I talking?

Me: snickers Ah the power of owning a keyboard... Well... CHRISTINA!

Christina: Yes, Ma'am! salutes

Me: You know what to do!

Christina: Beverly doesn't own Yugioh, its characters, cards, or any of that crap gets whacked Erm, I mean stuff.. OH! And she owns me, but that's just because I'm made up.. imagination.. AN IT! I WANNA BE A REAL B- erm.. GIRL!

Me: Why did my imagination have to make a psycho?

Chapter 1: Hellooo Battle City Blimp

Boring. Boring. Boring.

Okay! That's it!

"My god, you crazy psycho, will you just teach like a normal person?" I stood up with a deranged look on my face. My brown hair was falling over my face and all that could be seen were my blue eyes. All around me, bug-eyed stares went. It was weird. What can I say? Science bores me. I mean, really, if I was planning on learning about some stupid slug, then I'd look it up myself! Just as I was about to get myself in more trouble by calling Mr. Edison a lousy fruit cake that needs an enema, the door opened. Oh, you're lucky dear Thomas Edison. Yes, that's right! His name is _Thomas Edison_. Ironic, ne?

"Beverly!" I looked towards the door, mildly annoyed. I mean, really, right when I was about to get detention, too. Okay, so I don't really like detention, but on this certain day, I don't want to go home right after school. Why, you might ask. None of your business. Okay, okay, so I just didn't feel like going home to a full house. You see, my sister was having a bunch of her preppy friends and _potential boyfriends_ over. Blah to her, if you ask me!

"What?" I snapped, before realizing that it's my 'friend' Christina. She's a little strange, being in between prep and outcast, but we somehow became friends a long time ago.. I still don't quite understand how, though.. I guess that will be one of those mysteries that will live on, never to be solved. Chris ran over and picked up my textbooks.

"Excuse me, Miss Lurch, but do you have a pass?" Edison asked. Chris, not even looking up, pulled out a paper airplane and threw it at the annoying teacher. It hit him square in the forehead. In fact, it hit him so hard, that he fainted. It was hilarious. I always knew that idiot was a pansy, but he definitely proved it.

"Where are we going?" I asked, ignoring the twenty different pairs of eyes that were staring at me. Chris ignored my question and pulled me out of the room. Now, obviously, I was wondering what all this was about, so I tried asking. But as soon as I opened my mouth, she shoved a binky in it. I glower at her, but don't move to take the thing out. You see, chewing on the stupid thing is soothing and it always calms me.. I need help, I know.

"Where are we going?" I asked.. except it came out more as.. mrrf fr ww ggrgg. She just kept pulling me forward. It was rather annoying actually. So, when she dragged me out of the school and about a mile out in the middle of nowhere, I began to grow curious. Well, more curious than before. I actually pulled the binky out to ask her a question.

"Where are we going?"

"Put this on-" She shoved a weird belt thing into my hands and I in turn, wrapped it around my waist. It was the strangest belt I'd ever seen, as there were cards in it. I peered closer and saw that it was my Seto Kaiba starter deck and side deck. Sure, I sucked at the game, but what can I say? I loved looking at the pictures.. If only one of them had a picture of Seto himself..

"Uh.. why do I need this?" I asked.

"Because silly, we're going on a fun little trip." Chris stated.

"Oh, are we going to Iowa again?" I asked, suddenly interested. The last time we went there, I got to ride a cow. It was fun. Although, the cow didn't seem to like it.. Oh well.

"No, we're going somewhere far better than that." She said. I looked at her face and cringed. I'd seen that look before.. It wasn't a good one. You see, Chris and I have gone into other worlds before, so we've experienced all those fun times trying to explain things to some characters. The most interesting trip was with Hiei and Captain Jack Sparrow. You see, it was Chris' first trip into the other world, so she kind of messed up. It wasn't her fault, but it was annoying, none the less. Although, it was very entertaining when Jack somehow got Hiei drunk. We still don't quite know how.

Chris led me into the middle of this stadium. Now, obviously, I was curious as to why she led me here, but I wasn't going to press the matter. She pulled out a bag from her sweatshirt pocket and handed it to me.

"What's this for?" I demanded to know.. in a nice manner. I opened it up and saw some funky clothes in it.

"Put 'em on." Chris said, eyeing me like I was stupid or something.

"Uh, no thanks, too much of a chance of peeping toms." I replied, as I crossed my arms over my chest. She solved that matter, too, by dragging me into a dugout. I scowled at her.

"Just a minute." She replied, calmly. She pulled a long, black curtain out of her sweatshirt pocket and proceeded to drape it over the dugout ceiling. I sighed in content when the darkness covered us and changed into the clothes. They were a bit weird, but so am I, so whatever. A pair of extremely holed up, boot cut jeans, a form-fitting black t-shirt that have the sleeves rolled up slightly, and a teal bandana. I pulled on my big clonky black boots and did the peace sign. It was my anime look!

"Okay, now, just sit down there, and we'll be ready to go in a minute." Chris stated. I nodded eagerly and sat Indian style on the bench. Chris, not bothering to pull her curtain off, pulled out a silver CD player. She walked over and sat beside me. The earphones were that kind that attach to your ears directly, so she handed me the left one. I put it up against my ear and waited for the music to start.

When I heard the theme song from Yu-Gi-Oh, I shot an excited look towards my strange friend. My new obsession, after Pirates of the Caribbean, of course, was Yu-Gi-Oh. I simply fell in love with the anime after reading a you fan fiction on my favorite website. So, as the song continued to play, I closed my eyes and began grinning like the Cheshire cat. I was going to become an anime character again, and I was going to meet my favorite bishies.. besides Hiei and Kurama, that is... and all the others, but there are too many to name..

As soon as the song ended, the CD disappeared, and the music ended. My hair suddenly flew upwards, and a gut-wrenching feeling overtook my stomach. I was falling. And apparently from a far distance. This didn't happen the last time. So, I did what any normal person would do. I screamed on the top of my lungs. My only thoughts were that I was going to kill Chris. I squeezed my eyes shut, fearing for the worst. Some freaky guy named Himotep says that 'death is only the beginning' so I'll take his word for it.

But death never happened.

Rather than fall on the rock-hard ground, I landed right on top of something soft. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in a stadium, still, but this one didn't look finished. I then started patting myself to see if I was in one piece.

"Dude!" I suddenly exclaimed. "I'm freaking alive!" I punched my fist into the air in victory. "Yes!"

"Great, another fool living. Now would you get off of me?" I nearly had a heart attack when I heard that deep voice. I managed to save my life from a painful death again, and looked down. There, laying in an uncomfortable position, was _the_ Seto Kaiba. And _I_ was sitting on his stomach! He looked so much better in person. He had brown hair and his eyes really were this icy blue. I swore to myself that I would write that down in my journal when me and Chris got back.

"Oh my god!" I screeched. "I'm so sorry, are you okay? You're not hurt are you? Oh my god, how far did I fall anyways?" I looked up towards the sky. "That was quite a fall actually. I should've passed out from lack of oxygen by now. Hmm, I wonder if Chris planned this?"

And then.. I promptly fainted... on top of one of the coldest CEO's of anime history.

"You bishie lover, wake up!" I heard the devil trying to lure me to his evil lair. He was probably going to stuff me in an oven and force me to make pies, or something. I shuddered in fear and scrunched my body into a ball. I don't like making pies.

"Beverly, if you don't wake up right now, I'm going to drop you off of this blimp." The devil said. I immediately sat up straight and popped my eyes open. You see, I was deathly afraid of heights.. In fact, it's so bad, that I would freeze in place unless someone helped me.. It's annoying!

"I'm on a blimp?" I said, incredulously. I heard laughter and turned to glare at Chris. I turned to face the opposite direction from her and immediately screamed. There was a huge window showing the view of the city below. I started backing up, my eyes wide. I didn't even hear the door open. So, I ran right into someone. I fell right on top of said someone.

"You are one of the clumsiest women I've ever had the irritation to meet." I strained my neck to see what Seto's facial expression was, and only managed to come face to face with his chest. I leaned my head back and smiled innocently. Someone then pulled me up, to my utter annoyance. I happened to be comfy sitting in between Seto's legs. Hee! I looked to see who had helped me up and saw that it was none other than the infamous Marik Ishtar, in all his beautiful glory. His sandy blonde hair and violet eyes showed evil, but everyone else was too stupid to see it. Another thing I had to write in my journal; I got to meet the hottest bad guy! Or one of them..

"Mar-" He promptly covered his hand over my mouth. Chris nudged me in the side as well. I simply smirked into his hand. Seto had a weird look on his face as he stood up, but he didn't say anything. At the moment, I felt like I was in bishie heaven.

"I'm going to explore!" Chris said, clearly not noticing the threat in Marik's eyes. She bounced away, and I knew for a fact that she was going to 'accidentally' bump into Yami. She's got the hots for that dude, so to say. Seto harumphed and left, as well. Marik pulled me into the room I'd previously been in. My eyes widened, and he smirked, thinking I was afraid of him. However, when I suddenly latched myself to his shirt and buried my face in it, he sweatdropped. The door shut.

"What are you doing? And how do you know who I am?" He asked. I simply squeezed my eyes shut and stayed right where I was. Oh sure, he tried to push me away, but I'm not that easy to push away. Well, he probably could, if he used more strength, but he didn't seem to really care.

"I don't like heights." I said through grit teeth. I could almost feel the smirk on his face. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. However, my eyes were squeezed shut, so it didn't really do much.

"How do you know who I am?" He demanded to know.

"The same way I know that Bakura isn't really Bakura right now, but the rings spirit." I stated, smugly. I couldn't quite see his expression, so I couldn't tell what was going through his head right now. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

"You'd be surprised." He said. But, before I had a chance to respond, the door opened and someone ran in.

"Beverly, I saw your favorite.. person.." Chris said, excitedly.

"Johnny Depp?" I asked, my eyes still closed.

"Not hardly." Chris snorted before grabbing my arm and pulling me out the door, leaving poor Marik in a paranoid confusion.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, opening my eyes now that we were in a place with no windows.

"You'll see when we get there." She replied, in this annoying sing-song voice. She passed this door and I thought she was going to continue on, when she suddenly opened it and shoved me inside. I let out a squeak and tried to walk back out, only to find that the door wouldn't budge. So, what could I do?

"Hello?" I turned around an asked, curious as to whose room I was in. Chris wouldn't shove me in here for no reason, you know. And there he was, the albino of all albino's, the evil of all evil, the- well, you get the point. Anyways, Ryou Bakura, aka, the rings spirit, was laying down on the bed. He was faking a look of calm composure. I snorted and walked over to him.

"You're a good actor, but you can't quite fool me. I know everything." I stated, a large grin on my face. He opened his eyes and I almost melted. Those cute little brown eyes.. A person just _has_ to love them.

"Can I have your eyes?" I asked. He gave me a weird look. "I'll keep your secret about being the spirit dude a secret."

"I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?" He asked, in his cute little British voice. I snorted, though. A clouded look covered his face and he sat up. I let out a surprised squeak at how fast he moved. My wrists were soon in his hands, and he was glaring menacingly. But, me being me, I thought it was cute, and had to try and keep from giggling. It didn't work too well.

"How do you know who I am?" He demanded to know.

"Ugh, I just went through this with Marik. You wouldn't believe me even if I told you." I pouted a little; my wrists were hurting a little bit. Then, I turned my head, and _stupidly_ looked out the window. I immediately squeaked and turned the other way. And if you're wondering, _yes_, I squeak a lot!

"Who are you?" He asked, smirking slightly. Great, another evil bishie who knows about my fear of heights.. Just perfect.

"I'm Beverly Edwards." I stated, proudly.

"I've never heard of you, duelist." He said, in this low, husky voice.

"Who said I was a duelist?" I asked.

"You have a deck in your belt." He stated.

"Eh?" I looked down. "Oh, that. It's nothing."

"How do you know who I am?" He asked.

"As I said before, you wouldn't believe me." I said, trying desperately.. or not, to get my wrists out of his grip.

Chris then opened the door and walked in, a smug grin on her face. I didn't like that look. It's never good, believe me. She walked over and kneeled down beside us.

"Hey, Bev, I know you're in the middle of some romantic snog," I blushed, it wasn't true. "But, I've got the most _awesome_ news to tell you! I told the good old Pharaoh about our predicament and he said he'd help."

"What predicament?" I asked. Yami Bakura simply had his eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"Weeeeeell," Chris scratched the back of her head nervously. Uh oh! "I sort of lost the CD player."

"You _what_?" Yami B finally let go of my wrists and I promptly buried my face in my hands. "Great, now I'm stuck with a bunch of hot bishies in an anime world where dreams come true." I looked up. "Wait a minute.. that's not a bad thing.." Chris sweatdropped. "Did you hear that, Yami B, I get to stay with you."

And then I took both him and me by surprise. I hopped onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. Chris was grinning wide, and Yami B looked quite indignant. I didn't care, either way.. That is, until Chris left, and Yami B gave me _the worst_ glare I'd ever seen.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2: Back to the Ancients

"Get off me." Yami B said through grit teeth.

"What if I said no?" I asked.

"Then I'd kill you." He replied, smugly.

"Ah, but what happens when they find my dead carcass in your room, eh? Eh?" I said, giving him a cheeky look.

"That's why I'd put you in Marik's room." He said.

"Marik Marik, or the other dude?" I asked, curiously. He raised an eyebrow.

"Again, how do you know these things?" He asked.

"I know all, I told you.. I think.. or did I tell Marik that?" I pondered aloud to myself. "I know I told someone.." I scratched the side of my forehead. "Oh well.."

"Then who wins the duel tournament?" He asked. I hopped up and skipped towards the door.

"That'll remain a seeeecret." I said, in this annoying sing-song voice. I promptly opened the door, and guess who I ran into.. Yep, you got it. Me and Seto went tumbling down to the floor.

"As much as I enjoy these meetings, and I mean, I _really_ enjoy them, but it hurts every time I fall." I said. He rolled his eyes and pushed me off of him. It was rather interesting, actually, the position we were in. Or not, I was only laying on top of his legs.

"Who are you anyways?" He asked, coldly. I stood up immediately and said my name while giving the peace sign. As I said before, it's my anime look. He rolled his eyes and stood up. I grinned. He was taller than me, and I was getting all these dirty thoughts about him having to- Ahem, I don't think I'll say, hehe. But anyways, before any more of this awkwardly awesome moment could continue, Chris came up and grabbed my arm, pulling me forward. I followed, only because I knew that the place she was leading me was a place where there were no windows. Windows suck, man!

"How are we going to get back if we don't find the whatchamadinger?" I whispered to her.

"I'll just have to create a new one, but we know what happened to the CD player." Chris whispered back.

"What?" I yelped, a little bit angrily. Many weird looks went our way. Chris smacked her hand over my mouth.. and I mean _smacked. _It freaking hurt, too!

"Yami thinks that it turned into a Millennium Item." She said, nodding her head assuredly.

"What _kind_ of Millennium Item?" I did the finger motions.. You know, when you put two fingers together from both hands and wiggle them beside your head.. Hmm.. yeah.. Actually, I think they're called "air quotes" but whatever, you probably get my point, or not.. _Anywho!_

"Well, he figures that it turned into these two bracelets.." She said.

"Why two bracelets?" I asked.

"Well, because as we were sitting there examining the CD player, it suddenly turned into these two bracelets with the eye on them, and then disappeared." She explained. I sweatdropped then fell, anime-style.

"Hey, what's wit dis thing?" Joey asked from across the room. Me and Chris turned and our eyes popped open when we saw Joey with a weirdly shaped cask with different colored sands in them.

"Don't open it!" Me and Chris both yelled, running at the speed of light towards Joey, who was twitching nervously. I turned to make eye contact with Chris and she winked; she'd glomp the guy, I'd get the cask.

"Whew," I wiped invisible sweat from my brow. "That was close!"

Joey was currently on the floor, with Chris on top of him, still twitching. I looked over at Mai and saw she was also twitching angrily.

"Ccchhrrr, Metal Spork to Black Candy Cane, we got a code yellow." Chris stood up and gave me a strange look.

"Mad bunny attack?" She asked, scratching the back of her head. I smacked the side of her head.

"No, jealous bishie-lover." I hissed, so Mai wouldn't hear.

"Ooooooooooh." Chris nodded and walked over to Mai. "I'm sorry."

"For what, hun?" The tall blonde asked. I immediately ran over and covered Chris's mouth before she got herself into more trouble. Chris simply giggled and pried my hand from her lips. She then whispered something into Mai's ears. Mai then glared over towards Marik.. and I mean Marik Marik, not Odion... Er, at least, I think that's what the dudes name is.. Not really sure. Meanwhile, I looked over at Chris, who was giggling like mad behind her hand.

"What did you tell her?" I asked.

"I told her that Namu told me he heard that Mai and Joey did it doggy style." She said, no longer able to keep from laughing.

Smack!

I looked over at poor 'Namu' and he looked at me accusingly, a red handprint on his face. My eyes widened and I pointed towards Chris, who was currently rolling around on the floor with laughter. I sighed, figuring that I ought to put things right.. I walked over to Mai and pulled her away from the Violet-eyed god of evilness.

"Chris is a little out of it, sometimes. She didn't mean Namu, she meant Seto." I stated. I snickered under my hand when I saw Mai storm over towards Seto. Seto shot me a look.. I cowered.. So, I ran over to Chris and poked her.

"I think we're in trouble." I hissed.

"Why?" She whispered.

"Because we just got two hot bishies in trouble." I whispered.

"Uh oh." Chris looked over my shoulder. I turned around and leaned my head back, laughing nervously.

"You know, you guys look a lot taller when you're mad..." Flames were surrounding 'Namu' and Seto. "This is the perfect Kodak moment! Chris.. Chris.."

"Right behind you, ducky!" Chris said, pulling a digital camera out. She immediately snapped the picture and walked over to me. I waited a moment for the picture to show up, and then grinned.

"It's PERFECT! It will go in the bishie scrapbook of heaven!" I exclaimed.

I pulled out a book from Chris' sweatshirt pocket and sat down Indian-style. I opened the book and flipped through page after page, until I came upon a clear one. It had Yu-Gi-Oh strung across the top of it in animated letters. I put the picture at the very top. But something seemed missing..

"CHRIS!" I yelled, and Chris was at my side in a minute.. probably because that was where she was at the whole time...

"Yes, ducky?" She asked, saluting me. I was suddenly in a generals clothing, except my pants were flared, my hair wasn't buzzed and my shirt was fashionably black. I pulled out a horse whip from nowhere and plunked a heavy hat on my head. It covered my eyes, but that didn't matter.

"Fall in!" I said, in that stern, 'I'm a general' way. Chris immediately stood as straight as a board as I began to pace back and forth.

"Soldier, do you realize that this scrapbook only contains one Yu-Gi-Oh picture?" I demanded to know.

"Yes, ducky!" She saluted me.

"And do you know what your mission is?" I asked, closing my eyes and standing with my hand behind my back.

"Yes, ducky!" She saluted again.

"Then go to it!" I said, pointing towards all the characters, except for Seto and 'Namu' who were still looking at me angrily.

I turned towards my two favorite bishies and got a sudden idea. My clothes changed from army general, to Ace Detective. I wore a brown trench coat over blue jeans and a sweater. I pulled on a hat that shaded my eyes and walked towards them. I pulled a pen and paper out of thin air and stood before them. A toothpick somehow made its way into my mouth.

"What's the problem?" I asked. Neither answered. I looked over towards them, only to find that they had disappeared. In fact, everyone else had disappeared, too.

"Hey, where is everyone?" I asked, looking around. I suddenly began to panic. And when I panic, it's not good! I looked down at myself and saw I was in my regular anime clothes.. Uh oh! This could mean only one thing.. I had a mission to complete! I looked around again and heard a soft clicking noise. I looked down and screamed when I saw that the tile I was standing on, turned into nothing.

My body fell down at the speed of light. I waited for Himotep to come on swift wings to take me to the Underworld, but it never happened. Rather than landing on top of rock-hard ground, I landed on top of something.

"Whoa, talk about deja vu." I murmured. I looked down and immediately did a double take. It was Seto, but he was dressed weirdly. It took about a minute to realize that this was Seth, high priest of Atemu.

"Dude, didn't I already fall on top of you?" I asked. I turned my body so I was sitting on his stomach. "I mean, I could swear, you're only allowed to fall down from the sky and land on someone once.. Isn't there some sort of unwritten rule?"

"Would someone get this witch off of me?" He said. I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.

"Who are you calling a witch?" I snapped. "I am _not_ a witch, and I take strong offense at being compared to one!"

Before I could complain some more, two pairs of arms grabbed my arms and pulled me up. Seth got up and towered over me. He had this impish grin on his face that I really didn't like! The other Seto dude, I understood, because he was always cold and whatnot, but this one seemed almost.. perverted. It was a strange thought..

"Bring her before the Pharaoh!" Seth said, the impish grin still on his face. I suddenly felt nervous. As beevus and butthead dragged me forward, I noticed that Seth was walking behind. I glanced over and I could swear, he was looking at my butt! I suddenly became self-conscious, wondering if these jeans were too tight, and all that crap. Then, I thought, screw it, I don't care. If Seth the strange one wants to check my ass out, he can do what he damn well pleases.

"What is this intrusion?" I heard a deep voice ask. I looked up and saw Atemu, AKA Yami. He was sitting on this funky throne thing and he looked really cool in his Egyptian clothes. Beevus and butthead pulled me forward, with Seth not far behind.

"Who is this flower?" Atemu asked, making me turn a light shade of pink. I mean, it's not often that I, Beverly frrdrrdrr, hear nice little compliments like these.

"My lord, I do not know. Please believe me when I tell you that she fell from the sky." Seth said. Atemu looked skeptical, but I only nodded. It was true, after all.

"She must be a gift from the gods." Atemu said. I managed to keep from snorting. As he said this, I couldn't help but think; yeah, the time travel gods.

"She should be treated well, if she is a gift from the gods." Atemu said. "Bathe her, and make sure she is given the best of clothes."

I could just hear the perverted wheels turning in Seth's head. Now, I was _really_ nervous. This was just bloody perfect. Not only was I stuck in ancient Egypt, but Chris wasn't even with me. I'd never survive!

Beevus and butthead _finally_ let go of my arms and Seth walked forward. He grabbed my hand gently and led me from the room. All I could think of, was that I was freaking screwed, if this guy was thinking he was going to 'bathe me'. Seriously, what did the Pharaoh mean by that?

Well, Seth was a gentleman, or so I thought.. He allowed some maid chic people to take me to this bathing pool in a secluded part of the.. palace. However, I was _quite_ uncomfortable, because I was used to bathing myself. In fact, I was blushing the entire time. I did not like it! And little did I know, that there were three peeping toms watching from their secluded positions. Yeah, found this out later.. Freaking hentai's!


	3. Chapter Three

Okay, first off, let me say that I am SOOOOOOOOO sorry for not updating sooner.. Procrastion + Lazy + Me no update.. smacks self I swears, I'll do better next time.. oO Why do I feel like I'm talking to a teacher? Meh, whatever.. Okay, as I mentioned, I am lazy, so I'm not responding to my reviews.. However, there were FOUR of them! FOOOOUR! WHOOOOOP! Far cry from the chappie where I only had ONE!

Chapter Three: Well, that's loyalty for you!

Well, once the bathing thing was over, I got to wrap a towel around my body, which I was _most_ happy about. I _seriously_ didn't like having some strange women that I don't even know, freaking bathing me. It's like these whackos were under the impression that people were too stupid to bathe themselves.. I wondered, momentarily, whether the women bathed the men. I smirked. You can just imagine all the perverted thoughts that were going through my head. So, in order to rid my mind of these dirty images, I started chewing on bubblegum. It took my nerve-wrecked brain a moment to realize that I somehow had gotten gum in my mouth. It will remain a mystery, even to me. _Whoo! Secret Window rocks!_

Well, I was blowing this mondo bubble, and it popped, so I quickly sucked it back in my mouth and smiled innocently. The maid people were looking at me strangely, but I just looked around, like I didn't know what they were talking about.

They came forward with these really strange clothes, and I stared at them warily. I did _not_ like dresses. In fact, the only time I would wear a dress, was.. back when I was in private school and was _forced_ to wear them. But, those are evil memories that won't be touched upon.

Ahem, anywho, I was clothed in the exotic material and found it to be.. well.. strange. It felt more like there was this towel that was wrapped tightly around my body. There were no sleeves, and it showed far too much of my breasts to my liking. However, what was I going to do? Complain? I don't think so! So, I just let them do whatever they were going to do next. It was when they started brushing my long hair, that I realized something.. My hair was long. You see, my hair only reached just past my shoulders, so it came as quite a shock to find that I had hair that reached past my hips. Ah well.. Well, they brushed it, and I was most pleased to find that it did this funky spiky thing, like Marik's hair, in the front.. It was nice. On my forearms, they put these funky gold bracelet-like things. They were awesome! Well, they put this golden crown-like thing around my head, stuck some black crap around my eyes, and then pointed me in the direction I was supposed to head.

I was quite surprised when I saw Seth already waiting. I raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. He grabbed my elbow, sending way too many butterflies into my stomach, and started walking forward.

"So, what's going to happen?" I asked. He turned and looked at me, probably surprised that I had spoken. Who knows?

"You will stay in the palace until the Pharaoh thinks it's best for you to leave." He said. I nodded.

"Does anyone even know who I am?" I blew another bubble. He looked at me sharply.  
"No, and what is that thing that keeps coming out of your mouth?" He asked.

"Oh, it's called-" Then, I realized what he just said. "What do you mean, _keeps_ coming out?" My eyes narrowed. "Were you watching me?" My eyes were now the size of slits.

"That's preposterous!" He said. I suddenly felt quite uncomfortable. Okay, that was the understatement of the year! I stared at him for a few minutes, contemplating whether or not I should kill him or not. _Oh, if only Chris were here!_ I need my confidant here to tell me what to do when I don't know.. Sure, I was the general of us both, but sometimes the general needs to have.. a private.. You know, that sounded _really_ wrong.. Great, Seth was rubbing off on me. That _sucks_!

"Whatever." I replied, coldly. Eh, forgot I was having a conversation with Seth, eh, eh? Well, okay. Hee hee.

We soon arrived back in the room that Atemu was at, and I suddenly got hit with this pang of friend-sickness. I actually felt tears enter my eyes. And this was _me_, the chic who hadn't cried in over a year.. Not that I hadn't tried, I just hadn't been able to.. It kinda sucked!

"Ah, much better!" Atemu commendededed. Yep, that's right. Ededdedded.. Uh huh! Anywho, Seth, who still had a hold of my elbow, pulled me forward. He pulled me to the side of the pharaoh, and we sat there, like a bunch of whackos posing for a picture. So, obviously, I got bored, and blew a bubble. I quickly sucked it back in when people looked towards me. Atemu was smirking at me, and I was grinning sheepishly.

So, there I was, standing next to two of the hottest bishies in Anime history, besides all the other dudes, when the door suddenly open, and some guy dressed in a sock ran in. I'm not kidding, either. He was wearing this huge white sock that went up to his chest. And he was hop running, too. It was rather funny, and I bit my bottom lip really hard to keep from laughing. Seth looked at me funny, and he soon smirked along with me. I mean, come on, you would've been laughing too. A sock? Come on! Who wears a _sock_?

"My lord, It's the Thief King, he's stolen from the palace!" Sock-boy cried. I heard murmurs around me and looked around. I mean, really, is it _really_ that big of a deal. Ooh, so some priceless artifact that can't be given a price because it's so great was stolen. Big freaking whoop! Now, if it was a golden spork, then they could start murmuring. I shudder to think of a golden spork being stolen. That's a _bad bad bad _curse!

Atemu stood up immediately, an angry look on his face. I shuddered inwardly. He looked scary when he was mad... Or not, he looked hot, but since Chris had the hots for him, he had to look scary to me. It was simply the way it worked.

"He left this, my lord." Sock-boy hop-ran forward and handed the pharaoh this strange thing.. It looked like toilet paper.. on a stick.. Strange? I thought so! I looked at Seth questioningly, but he looked really angry. It made him look hot, even with the weird headdress thing on top of his head.. I just wanted to glomp him.

"High priest, come forward and read this for me." Atemu commanded. Seth grabbed a pair of these funky cheddar reading glasses out of nowhere and plopped them in front of his eyes. He walked forward, his weird robe thingy making a swishy noise, and grabbed the toilet.. stick.. thing.. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he read it. He turned to Atemu and spoke so quietly, that my super-unsensative ears couldn't hear what they were saying. But, I got a little nervous, because after Seth talked, they both turned and gave me this worried look. Now, from my experience, that's usually a bad thing..

"My lord, if I might suggest that she have guards watch her closely." Seth said, his hands clasped together. I quirked an eyebrow and smoothed out an invisible wrinkle. Why? Because I felt nervous...

And before I knew what was happening, an arm slinked around my waist and I was thrust up against a male body. How, you might ask, did I know it was a male body.. Well, I _can_ tell the difference between a damned male and female! Sheesh!

"What a horrible predicament!" I heard a voice tease. I'd recognize that cute voice anywhere. Yami B! Seth and Atemu looked quickly in my direction, and their eyes immediately widened.

"Such a beautiful desert flower, eh Atemu." Yami B said. I had to suppress a grin. Yami B would never be able to live that one down! "Now, I'll set her free if you'll give me the Millennium Items."

I felt completely confident. Atemu and Seth wouldn't give me up. I was 'a gift from the gods' as the pharaoh oh so graciously put it. They wouldn't want to go and upset the gods, now would they? Seth and Atemu both looked at each other, then me, then Yami B.

"Take her!" They said in unison. My jaw dropped down. How's that for loyalty to the gods? Humph, I'd have to lecture them when I got back to the future.. Yami B was laughing, probably because he figured I was shocked. He leaned down slightly and picked me up, like I was some freaking feather. He smirked at my shocked facial expression. I could care less. I finally shut my mouth and glowered. They were SO going to feel my wrathful revenge. Oh yeah! Except maybe Seth; because he's my favorite bishie.. other than the other dudes, of course!

Well, in a short manner of seconds, I was outside of the castle, being carried to Ra knows where. So, I started cursing those two idiots under my breath, earning a huge smirk from Yami B.

"A gift from the gods, indeed." He teased. I stuck my tongue out in response. Bad idea! The look in his eyes was freaky, 'indeed'. He looked like he wanted to devour my tongue or something. I'm not kidding. He was probably going to take me to his hideout and then I was going to have my tongue cut out. And then, I'd have to watch as he eats it. Gross!

Well, I soon found out where he was carrying me to, as I heard this weird noise. I looked up and saw a camel. One camel, mind you. And you know what that means. That's right. Yami B jumped on top of it, with me still in his arms. Now, it's not to say that I don't like camels, but seriously, they can be violent creatures, and fast. So, when Yami B suddenly pulled out this whip stick thing and hit the camel with it, and the camel lurched forward, I couldn't help but throw my arms around him. I could just see the smirk on his face. But, what made it all worse, was the fact that the hot bishie wasn't wearing anything over his chest, so what else could I do but stare. I'd never live it down, I swear.

So, we rode. And rode. And rode. And rode. And rode. And- Annoyed yet? Anyways, we finally reached a destination, or at least I thought it was our destination. It was a hideout, after all. I suppose you're wondering how I knew it was a hideout. Well, I suppose I could say that it was because I was smart and had a sixth sense about these things.. But that would be lying, because there was this sign on the door, that says in big black letters, _hideout_!

"This is my hideout." Yami B stated. I just stared at him like he was an idiot. After all, I _can_ read! So, just as Yami B was about to jump off the _evil_ camel, someone cleared their throat. So, we both craned our necks, and _guess who we saw_! Marik Ishtar! Whooo!

Ahem, yes, so, as excited as I was to see him, I had to wonder, _why_ was he here? And what did he want? And what was his favorite color? Maybe he'll dye his hair his favorite color in the future. That'd be _so_ funny!

"Give up the woman!" Marik demandeded. I looked at Bakura and felt completely safe. After all, he was a _thief_, and thieves are known for their bravery. Plus, he thought I was a 'gift from the gods' as well, so he simply _wouldn't_ betray the gods by giving up their 'gift.' Boy, how wrong could I be? And twice in one day, too! How annoying! Stupid bishies! _They will fear my wrath!_

Anyways, Yami B pretty much tossed me like I was some freaking hackie sack and _luckily_ Marik caught me before I fell. That would have hurt, too!

So, he picked me up and started carrying me, bridal style I must say, in the opposite direction. It was _cool_! I loved my life, I swears! Well, my joy was short lived, as I suddenly found myself being dropped. And by dropped, I don't mean that I was just dropped down to the sandy floor, but I mean I was dropped and fell through this black portal pit thingy.

And, when I landed, it was with a loud thud, and it was right in some sploshy substance.

"Ah ma-an!" I groaned. I looked around and found myself to be in a _punch bowl_. _How much more lucky can I freaking get!_ I sighed in annoyance and looked around. Boy, and for getting a record of strange looks, I had just peaked!

"Beverly!" Chris squealed, excitedly. She ran forward and pulled me out of the punch bowl. Before I could see the damage on my pants, Chris gave me a bone-crunching hug. I nearly lost my breath!

"Okay, as for your pants that have now faded red, I have a remedy." Chris stated, her finger pointed up in the air. I stared at her strangely.

"What _kind_ of remedy?" I asked, skeptically. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room. In fact, she kept dragging me so far, that I thought we were three miles away.. but that would be impossible, since if we were three miles away, we'd be dead after falling pretty damned far down.

Well, she pulled me into what I soon found to be a bathroom and pulled out a blow dryer and a spork. I eyed the spork lustfully, as my weak spot is sporks, plastic spoons, and hot bishies. Yep, that's right. _Oh!_ And my weak spot is also smiling. Yep, if someone smiles at me, I pretty much melt.. well, depending on who it was. Now, if it were Kuwabara from Yu Yu Hakusho, I probably wouldn't have melted. It's not that I don't like him, but come on, it's _Kuwabara_!

"Okay, it's gone." Chris squeaked. I blinked once, twice, and then three times, just because I had an eyelash in my eye.

"What do you mean _it's gone_." I did the air quote thingys.

"The punch stain has disappeareded." She stated. Can you tell where I get some of my strangeness? Yep, Chris is definitely where I get some of it! I looked down and smiled at my butt.. strange? I think so, too!

"Soooo, what now?" I asked.

"We hold up the blimp and demand kisses?" Chris asked. I smacked the back of her forehead.

"Dummy, we can't hold up the blimp. We don't have the resources." I mused.

"Well, we could always go and just watch the tournament." Chris said, shrugging.

"Neh, but what about the height factor?" I asked, jumping into her arms. She laughed and dropped me. _Ouch!_ Must she _always_ drop me? It's bloody _painful_! Well, she pulled me up just as quickly, and proceeded to drag me to the area.

"Hey, wait, isn't that one chic in here?" I suddenly asked.

"What one chic?"

"The one chic."

"The chic that stole your sweet snow?"

"_We're not in the Yu Yu Hakusho world, you freaking moron!_"

"Oh yeah!" I sweatdrop. "So, what chic you talkin' bout, Bev?"

"The one _I'm a psychic because of this necklace_ chic." Again with the air quotes.

"You mean the _Millennium Necklace_?"

Okay, so she's a lot smarter than me when it comes to the actual _names_ of these things. Tish tosh, I _choose _to be ignorant! I swears!

"Uh... yeah." I nodded, as though I knew exactly what she was talking about the whole time. Because I _did_! See the smart look in my eye.. No? You're not looking close enough...

"What's her name again?"

"Ishizu Ishtar." I said, knowingly.

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Uh." I sweatdrop. "I forgot?"

She sighs and shakes her head.

"Your memory is getting worse everyday."

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Nuh uh to infinity."

"Yuh uh to infinity and _beyond_."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Friends forever!"

We hugged and went all happy and stuff.

"So, what say we go have a good ole chat with Ishizu?" I suggested.

"I say _yay_!" Chris punched her fist into the air.

So, Chris and I walked to each door and opened one after the other. It was rather strange, too, because in one of the rooms we went in, it was submerged with water. I'm not kidding, either! There were freaking _fish_ swimming in there. We even waved at a scuba diver. He asked us how to get to Cincinnati. And you know what, I don't even know where Cincinnati is, so we pretty much lied to him. We told him it was up in _Canada_! That's right! _Canada!_

Well, we opened another door, and shockingly, _she was actually **in **__it_! She seemed to know we were coming.

"I knew you were coming." See, I _told_ ya! I know all, that I do. Chris smirked and walked forward. She suddenly bowed down and kissed her feet. It was very disturbing, actually. Ishizu looked _very_ disturbed. And I had an idea she was thinking that Chris was crazy.

"I think you're crazy." Neheh! Told ya _again_! I really _do_ know all! _Muahahaha_!

"I'm not crazy, though I'm a _little_ bit insane." Ishizu looked to me for help, and I shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I once asked a psychic chicken to explain about Chris, but it kept making these weird buckaw noises. It didn't help very much." I stated.

"You scare me, child." She bluntly said.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "I don't scare many people. Well, that's a little white lie, but what you don't know won't hurt ya, right?"

"But you just-"

"_Anyways_, how ya doing?"

"By the way, I'm Chris and this is Ra's wife." Chris said.

"Do not joke of the gods, child. Ra will punish you _severely_!" Ishizu warned, shaking her finger in a rather accusing sort of way.

"Nah, he's probably just up there watching soap operas, the silly goof." I said, waving my hands, as though I'm pushing the topic aside.

**Up in Heaven**

"She said _what_?" Ra roared, angrily. He stared into the television tube and folded his arms in front of him. "I can't believe Marsha doesn't like John. And how can she be so _open_ about it?"

Down in Hell... erm.. I mean Earth...

"You two are dangerous, get out of my sight!" She exclaimed, motioning towards the door.

"Well, that was a little rude. And here we just wanted to say hello." I said, pouting slightly.

"You know, you're a lot meaner in person." Chris said, looking at her rather disapprovingly.

"I am not mean!" The woman said, incredulously.

"No, she's not mean." I shook my head. "She's _Anubis_!"

"Shhh! You must not upset the gods!" Ishizu said.

"Ah hush. Hades is probably sitting down there watching Punk'd." Chris said, shrugging. I gaped at her in horror. You see, the whole deal is, that I'm always right, and she's always wrong. So, this is how I knew I was going to die in a matter of seconds.

Down in Hell... _Literally_

"Impertinent women!" Hades roared. "They shall feel my wrath! _Servant_!"

A servant walks forward. Strangely enough, he looks like Gollum.

"Yessss, massster?" _Gollum_ asked.

"Go to earth and make them suffer!" Hades commanded.

"Make who ssssssssuffer?"

"Them."

"Who'ssssssss them?"

"_They_ are them!"

"But who are _they_?"

"Those two impertinent women!"

"But who are they? Do you know how many there issssss?"

"_Shut up_! Do as I _command, _damn it!"

"Yesssssss, oh evil masssssster of misssschief."

"Would you _stop_ that?"

"Sssssssstop what?"

"Stop that sssssssss stuff. It's pissing me off."

"Yesssssss masssster."

"You just did it again!"

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Nuh uh."

**A few minutes later.**

"There, now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Hades asked, smirking wide. _Gollum_ could be seen bandaging many new cuts that he had acquired. He also required about twenty bruises on his head. It was _really_ funny looking.

"No masterrrrrrrrrrr."

"_Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_!"

Down... Erm.. Up above

"We're dooooooooomed!" I was now running around in circles, as was Chris. We ended up running into each other and fell back flat on our butts.

"You fools! Grow up, damn it!" Ishizu screamed. Me and Chris looked at each other, then her.

"Woooow, this is _so_ going into the journal." I said.

"Journal?" Ishizu looked warily at us.

"None of your business, crabby." Chris snapped, clearly angry at being yelled at. Chris is like that... although, she very rarely is, so that was just plain _strange_!

"Have you ever thought of taking anger management classes?" I asked no one in particular. "Because they really can help."

"Ladies and gentleman, we are sorry to inform you, that the blimp is about to hurdle into the ocean. Please buckle up." A voice said over the speakers... or not.. hehe. Scared ya though, I bet! Or not...

What was _really_ said, was that Seto, Mai, and Namu are in a threesome. In the distance, there is the sound of someone being pummeled... You look around and see that Ishizu and Chris have both disappeared. Man, they sure did get out of there quickly! I shrugged off the confusion and darted out the door, heading for where the pummeling noises were.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed that.. Although, I REALLY think I should stay away from trying to write humorful things.. I just CAN'T write humor.. drama and romance are more my thing.. Meh, whatever!


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